Badgers Ball Ruminations: Minnesota Recap
THE WISCONSIN FOOTBALL SEASON IS MERCIFULLY OVER! WE ARE FREE!!
Pathetic. Embarrassing. Humiliating. Inadequate. Feeble. Lackluster. Doo-doo assed.
These are just some of the words that would describe the Wisconsin Badgers’ “effort” on Saturday Friday afternoon against the Nebraska Cornhuskers Minnesota Golden Gophers. Copying and pasting my thoughts from last week’s post, when the Badgers lost in embarrassing fashion to a rival with a trophy and bowl eligibility on the line, is sure making it a lot easier to get the ol’ word count up!
Wow, it’s like I could see into the future:
I will always, unfortunately, care about this stupid fucking team no matter how much I say I won’t but Fickell is teetering on the edge of having a lot of fans tune out. They haven’t beaten anyone better than them in his tenure and they regularly don’t beat teams on their same level. They have lost their first two trophy games of the season and their final trophy game, at home against archival Minnesota in a game they need to win in order to be bowl eligible, is one in which they won’t be favored. When/if they lose it’ll be their fifth straight loss to end the season.
There is zero percent of me that believes Wisconsin will beat Minnesota on Friday and that seems like as good an indicator as any to where the UW program sits.
Zero percent, in hindsight, may have been giving the Badgers too much credit because they were pretty clearly checked out on the season weeks ago. The coaches are ill-prepared and have no coherent line running through any of their strategies and because of that, the players are ill-prepared and don’t play well against any team with a pulse.
Luke Fickell should be ashamed of his work this year. I don’t think this is recency bias speaking, and even if it is I don’t care, but his coaching of the Wisconsin Badgers in the 2024 season was some of the worst I’ve ever seen in my decades of watching football at any level. He was routinely outwitted and out-maneuvered by coaches that we like to make fun of online for making dumb decisions. He was pantsed in the second half by Lincoln Riley, James Franklin did the same thing a few weeks later, and PJ Fleck had his team infinitely more prepared than Fickell did this week.
If his buyout weren’t so massive there would be serious talk about canning Fickell tomorrow based on how this season ended. The Badgers are on a five-game losing streak, their first since Barry Alvarez’s second season in charge, and have an empty trophy case for the first time in well over a decade. I don’t think you need to be a “Wisconsin Guy” to coach the Wisconsin football team, but I do wonder if there was anyone on staff that gave the proper respect to UW’s rivalry games this year. It sure as shit doesn’t seem like it since the composite score of the games against Iowa/Nebraska/Minnesota was 110-42.
Oh yeah, there’s also the little factoid that Wisconsin will not be playing in a bowl game for the first time in 22 years. Almost forgot about that!
This program is in complete disarray and I really don’t think Fickell is the one to fix it. Even if the Badgers are better next year, their record almost assuredly won’t be. Get a load of this shit:
at Alabama (top-10 team)
at Indiana (who will be worse next year, but are nowhere near a sure win anymore)
at Michigan (who will be better next year)
at Minnesota
at Oregon (top-10 team)
vs. Illinois
vs. Iowa
vs. Ohio State (top-10 team)
The only games I would tentatively give to Wisconsin in the win column right now are home games against Middle Tennessee State, Maryland, and Washington…although the Huskies are probably a coin flip at this point. If Fickell gets Wisconsin to six wins next season he should win fucking coach of the year.
If we are being realistic, the first chance the Badgers have to show any progress in the win column under Fickell is 2026. He’ll have a roster full of his recruits and a considerably (based on how things currently stand, obviously a lot can change before the ‘26 season) easier schedule. Hopefully Wisconsin fans have the stomach for another embarrassing campaign!
Good Things
WR Trech Kekahuna (six catches, 64 yards) looked spry running after the catch. His catch on third and long, after the ball was tipped by a Minnesota defender, near the end of the game was impressive.
QB Braedyn Locke threw a nice ball to WR Vinny Anthony II for Wisconsin’s lone touchdown.
DL Elijah Hills has been a real gem out of the transfer portal. He had a big sack in the first half when maybe, but probably not, Wisconsin still had a chance to win.
DL Ben Barten knocked down three passes, a skill he has mastered going against Locke in practice all season.
BRAEDYN LOCKE, DESPITE HIS BEST EFFORTS, DID NOT THROW AN INTERCEPTION IN THIS GAME!
Bad Things
Basically everything else that wasn’t the three players and one touchdown listed above.
Locke was awful outside of one or two throws. He completed under 50% of his passes, had so many passes batted down that the announcers couldn’t stop talking about it, and got sacked twice. There were times where he actually had a clean pocket but still had his feet moving and threw a wildly inaccurate pass. He was dodging ghosts out there, man. If he’s the starting QB next season for Wisconsin it means there are no other quarterbacks left in the world.
RB Tawee Walker couldn’t get anything going on the ground, gaining 36 yards on 14 carries (2.6 ypc), and RB Darrion Dupree (seven carries, 15 yards, 2.1 ypc) wasn’t any better. Is Cade Yacamelli in prison? Did the CIA send him on a secret mission out of the country? Did he lose his cleats so the refs wouldn’t let him on the field in flip-flops? He couldn’t get one (1) carry???
The offensive line didn’t get any push in the run game and were average in pass protection. For the third straight rivalry game, the Badgers were the less physical team in the trenches. Embarrassing doesn’t do it justice.
K Nathaniel Vakos missed his only attempt, a 37-yarder, that wouldn’t even have mattered if he’d made it. He had a really weird, bad season.
The defense, as a whole, played uninspired, lackadaisical football. They couldn’t get any pressure on Gophers QB Max Brosmer, even though Minnesota had to reshuffle their offensive line in the first quarter when their star tackle left the game. They couldn’t stop the run (39 carries, 183 yards, 4.7 ypc) and RB Darius Taylor routinely picked up four or five yards before a single Wisconsin helmet came near him. Brosmer, as mentioned, barely broke a sweat while finding his receivers uncovered in the middle of the field.
Honestly, the Gophers weren’t even THAT impressive on offense, the Badgers were just that useless on defense. Minnesota’s 5.75 yards per play was only in the 47th percentile this season, but when Wisconsin was at 3.20 YPP (2nd percentile) it was more than enough to win by multiple scores.Wisconsin’s offense had a success rate of 24%, per Game On Paper, which put them in the, uh, 0th percentile of any game this season. They literally saved their worst for last! They were 3-of-14 on third downs and 0-of-1 on fourth down while only scoring on one of their two trips into the red-zone.
Oh yeah, the fourth down play was a handoff out of the shotgun that Minnesota stuffed for a loss of one (or maybe no gain, whatever) and I can’t think of a more accurate representation of this abortion of a season than that.Seven penalties for 62 yards. Wisconsin also got worse in this category as the season went on, definitely the sign of a well-coached and disciplined outfit. There were two personal foul penalties and then on 3rd & 7 from the Minnesota 10-yard line Riley Mahlman was called for holding. Obviously Wisconsin gained zero yards on 3rd & 17 and then Vakos missed a field goal. Perfect.
Speaking of that field goal…why did Wisconsin even kick it? They were down 14 points (aka two scores) before the kick and even in the highly unlikely case that Vakos made the kick they would’ve been down 11 points (aka two scores) after the kick.
I understand that 4th & 17 isn’t an ideal situation to be in, but there were only 12 minutes left in the game. Wisconsin only got two more possessions after that! They never got close to entering Minnesota territory on either drive!! Fickell has zero fucking clue when it comes to situational awareness nor does he have the pulse of his team.
Did he really, in his heart of hearts, think that his Locke-led offense was going to get back into the red-zone two more times? Because if he DID think that then we have to bite the bullet and fire him now because he is even dumber than former Chicago Bears head coach Matt Eberflus. Those final two drives, by the way, were as follows:
- 3 plays, 0 yards, 31 seconds
- 4 plays, 9 yards, 94 seconds, 1 penalty
Lol, fucking kill me!
So, here ends another Wisconsin Badgers football season. For some of us it is the worst one we can remember. For others, who were around for Don Morton, there is a familiar sinking feeling setting in. I was filled with rage when I started writing this post, but now I feel a sense of calm, like something dark and horrible has been excised from my soul.
Can’t wait until spring practice, baby!
😩
Basketball!! Basketball!!
😃😃